The Props Room

Here is where you can learn about such Failblog mainstays as the bukkit, the ShamWOW, and the shellacked halibut.

The Bukkit
A tool used to correct grammar mistakes. Although there is just one Bukkit, it is usually filled with different substances, depending on the user’s preference. It could be fluffy mousse, lark’s vomit, or any really really disgusting slime. Usually, the substance of the bukkit is the offender’s least favo(u)rite flavo(u)r of…something.
To use the bukkit, one must dunk one’s head into it after making a spelling mistake on FailBlog.

ShamWow
Used to clean up any kind of mess. Since the ShamWow is used so often and cleaned so rarely, it usually has just one clean corner that can be used to clean up the mess.

The Roflcopter
OUR ROFLCOPTER GOES SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI!! An old internet meme brought to Failblog and it stuck…so much so that Ben made a reference to it in a “Thank you” post he wrote to us. We bring out the roflcopter when something is just too hysterical for a mere *snork*.

The Shellacked Halibut
Is used to TWACK! inappropriate commentors. It could be bigots, racists, or any insulting trolls.

BaconLube

See the Epic Fails page. ‘Nuff said.

The Cuddle-Puddle

A Friday tradition amongst failbloggers to celebrate the end of the week and friendships with each other. Often accompanied by a bar and barbecue.

*facepalm*

This is a most useful items when dealing with those who are perhaps not the sharpest knife in the drawer, or perhaps a sandwich short of a picnic. A *facepalm* is a gesture that denotes an emotion akin to “D’OH!” or “Ye gods, I can’t believe this person just said that” or even “This person completely missed the point!”

*headdesk*

Much like a *facepalm* only more so.

The innuendo machine

A very powerful machine that measures the amount of sexual innuendo on the blog. However, since the amount of innuendo so often exceeds safe, factory-installed limits, the innuendo machine has a distressing tendency to explode. We’re working on the problem.

The smutbus

A mode of transportation made absolutely essential by the innuendo machine. When we climb aboard the smutbus, those who are faint of heart may want to click the “G-Rated Pics and Videos Only” link.

For an example of such a ride, click here.

BFF clones

An army of Bondfan4518 clones created for the express purpose of being destroyed. Never worry if you see BFF driving his Jeep off a cliff…it’s only one of his clones. (We do have to spend a ridiculous amount on replacement Jeeps for them, though.)

The Pink Sparkly Bat

This is Gracie’s weapon of choice for demolishing trolls. It is very dainty and sparkly, and has “Girl Power” etched into the handle.

The Blogmonster

Also known as “Bloggy”, this is the entity that constantly noms our posts and makes them disappear. Sometimes the Blogmonster is hungrier than ever, and sometimes he seems to favor posts with specific words in them. If you ever use the word “image” or “imagine”…or any word starting with “imag”…Bloggy will definitely eat your post.

11 responses to “The Props Room

  1. Don’t forget pun runs. While not usually mentioned by name, they are a favorite pass time and mental exercise.

  2. Oh…so that’s why people keep saying Halibut. I thought they were calling me Hali-butt! 😦

  3. What about facepalm?

  4. Failcopter and soi soi soi, don’t forget those.

  5. Very informative! Am I the only one finding it hilarious that this is all listed so scientifically? *squeeze*

  6. What about the Flameblog 5000? Our resident barbecue machine?

  7. 😀 My body doubles! They’ve achieved recognition on the props section! At last, they can plunge to their fiery deaths, knowing that they will not be forgotten as their jeeps explode in massive balls of flame. Huzzah!

  8. *ahem* What about charging mah lazer?

  9. All aboard the smutbus! Your driver today will be Ryannon. Your tour guide will be Mookie and your nude entertainment will be Granny. It is the grand tri-fecta of smut so sit back and enjoy.

  10. I may need to fix that bat before I send it. I merely personalized it. I need to write “Girl Power!” on it!!!

  11. Say g'night, Gracie

    Wow, I don’t think I ever came to this page before. My bat, she is famous!
    :mrgreen:

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